Why is Self Healing So Difficult?

No matter who you are, what your background is or what life experiences you’ve had, all of us need to heal from something. Knowing where to begin embarking on this lifelong journey can be daunting – how are we meant to practice self-healing when most often we are our own saboteurs?

The truth is that no matter how much external help we get, be it therapy, medications or otherwise, we are the only ones that can truly make ourselves well. When in pain or stuck in the past, it is easy to become so used to it that you begin to identify with it. We convince ourselves that we are comfortable in our pain, and the second we work to step out of that comfort zone our instinct is to retreat. This is in part due to the fact that it is far harder to heal yourself than it is to remain where you are, even if where you are isn’t where you’d like to be.

Further to that, the self-care culture that we see pushed all over the internet can be incredibly counterproductive. We are told to take baths, journal, pick up a new hobby or meditate. While all of those things can indeed be very helpful in your healing journey, the pressure of doing them perfectly can actually hinder your progress if it’s something that creates anxiety for you.

It’s important to recognise that the journey to self healing is not linear and certainly not perfect. We are led to believe that if you’re not healing yourself in a certain way then you’re doing it incorrectly, which makes the process exponentially more difficult. First you have to cultivate a desire to heal. Think of all the reasons that giving yourself the space to heal will positively impact your life, and then work on creating space for your personal healing journey. Though there are things that are proven to help, everybody’s process looks different. It is damaging to hold yourself to an unrealistic standard. Give yourself grace – there is no room for perfectionism when it comes to the longevity of your health.

Consider allowing yourself to heal without conditions and without pressure instead of making resolutions. Gestalt therapeutic philosophy asserts that self healing is a process guided by instinct and intuition, not a strict set of rules. Ailments of the spirit and an absence of faith can be self healed, but only if the healing comes from a place of curiosity and gentle care rather than perfectionism. The process is going to be difficult – healing always is. We must experience struggles in order to come out the other side with newfound knowledge of the ways in which we operate, why we are the way we are and what we need to thrive.